Edward's Addiction
by Mrs. Cope
Summary: When she lifts her shield, Edward finally sees how Bella sees him. Having seen it once, he wants it again... and again... This is a very short piece.
1. Chapter 1

**Edward's Addiction**

I have become addicted.

As a younger man, I had dreamt of the day that I would possess her. Writing the words here brings another chuckling roll to my shoulders; I could never truly possess her! I could posses no force of nature as untamed and ferocious as she who is now my wife.

No, I am her bound love, her shared heart, her witness, her protector, savior, victim. With her, I am never alone, even when miles lead us apart or circumstances necessitate an absence. She is with me.

I remember the day I first kissed her lips, warm and silken. I remember the day I first kissed her lips fiercely; warm, silken, hungry and responsive as was I. I remember my body awakening to her touch, the thrill of our union and the satisfaction of lying in her arms.

But the first day I kissed her and heard her as I kissed her; that day, that hour, that moment was the day of my truest birth and the moment of my addiction.

The depths of my love for her knew no bounds. My silent heart awakened to her rhythms, throbbing in my ears. My love was an endless shelter, safe and secure. But the vision that accompanied her voice as she kissed me transformed the shelter into a palace of delight and need. I felt my love; I felt her love; I felt our love magnified and resounding, and knew I must have more.

She bends to kiss our sleeping daughter, and her hair slides up her back to tumble over her shoulder. She is perfection, she is beauty! I rest here, bare and vulnerable to her. She's noticed me now, staring in wonder at her sensuousness, and smiling, lifts her shield…

I am flooded with visions of myself as a angel of love, beautiful and desired. Her thoughts fill me:_ Edward, you are magnificent naked and I want you._ I can feel the warmth spreading through her hips, my hips she leans to kiss me her breast is bare and I am reverberated back to myself until the desire is too much I cannot breathe…oh!

Oh Bella, must I wait for another embrace?


	2. Chapter 2

Bella is sitting by the fire brushing her hair as I write this. It's hard to believe it's been ten years since our marriage, our daughter's birth and her transformation. I still have memory of her fragile human body beneath my hands, but she is so much more alive to me now in this new life that it seems as if she was a different person back then.

Her skin glows to me even in a dark room. I watch the brush slide through her chestnut locks and I wish it were my hand; she throws a thick strand behind her shoulder to rest on her back, and I wish my lips could kiss where it touches. Her eyes are closed. I wonder what she thinks of when she performs this simple, human act. The icy blue silk nightgown drapes over her legs, caressing each curve like a lover. I can feel myself grow hard as I imagine myself as that silk, draped over her legs, skin on skin, her feet tangled in mine…

Her eyes are open and looking at me. Just a hint of a smile plays at the corners of her lips. I know that smile. I love that smile. My wife is giving me a present.

Her shield lifts and I see myself as she sees me. My body is exactly the vision of love she deserves and demands. She envisions me undressing, and all I want to do is undress, give her whatever she imagines. But that is not how this game is played. I will wait as her fantasy unfolds.

She imagines me naked, hard, muscled and moving like a predator. She sees me slide up behind her, my mouth at her neck as she brushes her hair. Her first notice of me is the feel of my erection on her back.

Bella, love, I cannot resist much longer.

I feel her wetness between her legs. Her nipples are erect and diamond-hard. She is panting deeply. She holds the vision of me behind her, and she is almost ready for me to take her. She sees my teeth bared, descending onto the soft skin between her neck and shoulder, biting, sucking, kissing. My hands encircle her, coming to rest upon her succulent breasts, and I am wild. She sharply inhales.

Bella, Bella, my love, release me! Let me come to you, let me live your vision, make your dream come true!

She stops imagining, and looks again to me. My stiff shaft is obvious, my desire is burning in my eyes. My breath is shallow and she can – oh my God, she can smell me! Bella! Will you let me come to you?

Her shield wavers for a moment, and I fear I will be exiled outside her mind. I am struggling to continue to write; I cannot move until she bid me so. I am her slave, her toy. She is still watching me with her eyes that burn, my skin is electrified and my body straining to go to her. Tell me I can come to you, my love, tell me.

Wait – yes! Her arms open to me and she speaks with her shield aside, oh my love!


	3. Chapter 3

She looked up from her book, watching me from beneath her lashes. I didn't have to look up to know she had something on her mind. "Do you love me, Edward?"

I gulped, trying hard not to swallow my tongue. "What, Bella? I'm taken aback!"

"No, I mean, I get it, you love me and all. But…"

"Dear wife, please do continue," I quipped. I couldn't fathom how she could ever believe in less than my full and utter devotion. If only I could hear the machinations of her mind, I might have some clue of the warped thinking that spurred this question. "Can you lift your shield and explain, please?"

"No, that's just _it_, Edward," she replied, her brow creasing with pain.

Her words cut me to the quick. What could the matter be with my sweet, beautiful girl? I dropped my journal and shot to her side, pulling her into the circle of my embrace. "What's it, Bella? What's bothering you? Have I hurt you?"

"No, no," she shook her head slowly, but the pain never left her face. "It's just that… Well, now that I can control my shield more, I feel like that's all you want. Not me, really, just my _mind_."

I pushed her to arm's length and chuckled a little. "Well, that's certainly a first. Most men face the accusation of wanting a woman only for their body."

"Most men don't read minds," she pouted.

"True enough." I pulled her into my arms again. I rested my cheek against the top of her head, considering.

Bella had always doubted her hold on me when she was human. I'd accepted it, knowing the fullness of the vampire's frozen heart was nearly inconceivable to the human mind. I could occupy myself with many lines of thoughts and activity simultaneously, not something humans did well. That she so completely overwhelmed my thoughts, my actions, my entire being – well, it spoke volumes she did not know existed.

But to hear her doubts now? She knew our capacity for love and thought; how could she doubt my heart?

"Bella," I murmured, pulling her to the couch. "Come sit with me. Tell me what has you confused about my love for you." We moved to the couch, hand in hand, and sat closely, as was our way. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, reaching for her hand as she reached for mine.

"It's not confusion, Edward, really," she mumbled, her gaze in her lap. "I mean, I know you love me, I guess."

"You guess?"

She looked up, searching my face for the hurt in my expression she'd heard in my voice. "No, that's not what I mean. I mean, I know you love me. And I love you."

"But… ," I goaded, hoping she would continue.

"But, it's just that so often when we make love, you want me to move my shield. Sometimes, I think you might not love me just for _me,_ but because you want to hear my thoughts, too."

"I'm unclear about the difference between you and your thoughts, love."

"I'm not explaining it right." She furrowed her brow again, and immediately her thoughts sang out clearly.

_It's just before when I didn't realize I _had_ a shield, you used to make love to me then and you seemed happy. Now…_ And her head filled with the many times she'd lifted away the barrier between our gifts, driving me wild with the passion I felt for her amplified back with the desire she felt for me. Her worry rested in fear, fear that who she was without the benefit of my talent was not enough any longer, that I had somehow become complacent and bored with her absolute beauty, the allure of her skin.

I released her hand, bringing my palms to her cheeks and pressing my lips to hers. "Sweet love," I whispered. I slid my hands down her arms to grasp her hands, sinking to kneel before her. "My most perfect mate. Everything you are, everything you say… your touch," I turned her hand in mine. "Your breath, your mind, your heart – these are what I love most in this world. It's you, every aspect of you, that rules me so completely. Hearing your thoughts – especially when we make love – it's my way to have even more of you, more than anyone else in the world. That you give it to me so freely is another gift; I am already besotted with your body, your heart, your mind. But the gift you give me, the gift of yourself? That, my darling, is my undoing.

When we are intertwined and you lift your shield, I am immersed in everything that is Bella. I could lose myself in the heady ambience of your essence. Yet your mind holds me, savoring my essence, my thoughts, my heart. It is only your love that affirms my soul. And when we join physically," my hands skimmed up her arms as I rose to a kiss, "I can attest to the existence of God."

I held her face in my hands, kissing her fervently yet gently. Her need was plain, and my desire was obvious. Her mind was quiet, but her kiss spoke all the words of love I ever wanted to hear.

"Oh, Edward," she sighed as I lifted her from the couch. She rested her head in the hollow of my neck, her arms wrapped me.

"Bella, let me worship at your temple," I said, speeding to the bedroom.


End file.
